Monday, May 31, 2010

tell me what can i do...???i keep myself busy day and night to stop myself from not thinking of you,but then i realise,when i slow my pace down,you are still within my heart...pumping like the way it used to be when i was with you...tell me,tell me my dear...how can i forget you...forget all about our past...everyday i pass here and there,the memories just play and play...all the words you said to me...things we had...
looking at couples teasing eachother,just reminds me how to tease me before that make me shy that you laugh....places i went,all having memories...we met,we got together,go together..all those place i just want to prevent myself from going,but i cant as i have to go...
i seriously miss you alot....all my mind are just you...doing things together,laughing and playing with eachother....i really want you back by my side..can i have a chance to do so????i really miss you alot...can i dun leave you???can i stay by your side??just ONE word and i will immediately fly back to your side and never to let you be alone....
people just see me as a selfish person,but who cares??? love is selfish...i dont give a damn about it...how can i be saying things to them when i know its a lie??lie about i miss you....lie about i already forget you???NONO never i will do these...seriously....i can say WHATEVER!! and never i will care about it...cus i know who i love....

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I finally get to know the reason of why he never replies me already,its because of a word"dont know" then never reply anything to me...why???Yes means Yes..No means No...one striaght answer....why this word come out instead "DONT KNOW"????lol...what is it???are you giving me the idea that you havent make up your mind???seriously,i'm feelin so confused by you and I really thinking of giving myself hope again....but dont dare to set high hopes on it....
Am i the one who cause you into this???if i am then i'm sorry...but i seriously dont understand that what have i done wrong to make you said that word and how could you???am i not good enough for you???or is it that i never give in enough...its it wrong to treat you like a precious??is it wrong to take care of you when you are sick???is it wrong to worry bout you when you never reply my text or my calls??? Or is it that i'm seriously not a good girlfriend and thats why people break with me and dump me for other girls???
i understand that i did give you the stupid stunts like attitude you when you're after me acting like so cold and imune to everything but indeed i am espeaially to sweet talks...and claims that you are the "Karma Tanker" to tank every rubbish i had from my exs. I also know that i treat you very bad at first and still you peservre....by then i realise i shouldnt have the thinking of treating my boyfriend i had at first,and i gotta love you more and also to treat you even better to make it up to you....and i did change my thinking about relationship and treat you the best as i can ya buy sadly it seems that i'm not good enough for you...seriously thank you for those days....
hope that my message of asking patch wont affect you...if you are affected then i'm sorry again and i will not contact you again to discrupt your life anymore...all the best...although is stupid,but i really wish to start anew with you....and i can say....I MISS YOU..ya....i really do....i dreamt of you two days back..i want to run away from your name but you name just POP OUT somehow....
Do take care...find a girl who is even more better than me whom you will feel its up to your standard,not like me...i dont think i'm even up to your standard...and also can share your problems so you willl not feel so stress out....always miss you..hoping for your return...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Today is supposely to be the sceond Mth anniversary of me and you but sadly,it had ended on 15/5/2010.Ya i will never ever forget the days when you send me to work and send me home after a long day at the workplace..bringing me to timah for prata and pool,really had a great time with you...there's once when you're having fever,i went to your house to take care of you...although you asked me not to come but,in my heart i really wanna take care of you...my dreams in relationship,is to take care of my boyfriend when he's sick,if he's in army then wait for him to book out at the gate or cook things he like,iron his uniform hor him,and be the best i can be to him.
its seriously the first time i'm taking care of someone and of course i'm really panicking and scare that you might not recover..heartaching that you never had a good rest just because you are coughing non stop..but i'm really happy when i see you falling asleep,in my heart,i'm so happy as i know that you can finally sleep and rest....^^sorry that i'm quite demanding on forcing you to eat the fish porridge and medicine,all beacuse i want you to recover faster...
will you want me back if i ask you for patch now???i really missed you alot....and feel that i dont want to live my life without your presence and love and care.....i really hope to be back by your side
loving you always....><

Today nothing much happen,but there's kinda confusions within the click...i dreamt of  him again and woke up,realise that he's not by my side anymore...i really miss him alot...tears start rolling down my cheeks....memories came back now and then....all about you,its just all about you and you and you!!!!Sometimes i really hope that i can lost my memory,forget everything not just about you and me but everything....its gonna be twelve again,and it'll be our 2nd month the day when you kiss and hug me when i was having my curry puff while stitting at the railings outside Northpoint...
Everything is so sweet,your smile,your message,everything and made my day filled with laughter and happiness that consist with love...i cans till remember that there's a message saying that,"baby i wiill love you forever,always will...."and deep in my heart,i have already replied:"and i will too,my dear..."
i can say its not easy to let the past go as i realise my habits have bits and pieces of your shadow....playing pool,scare of the sun,likes to sleep and stuffs...
But i want to say,if there's a chance to be back with you,i will want to grab hold of  the chance again to love you again and even more regardless of how much hurt i got from this relationship....will you give me a chance to do so??if i'm not able to,then i pray that God will give you someone who can share your problems and really make you happy and last long with her....and i'll give you my blessings...Baby,I Love You And Miss You....

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

什麽都不要懂　只想繼續做夢
Do not know anything, I just want to continue to dream
害怕醒來以後　握不住你的手
Fear of waking up after not gripping your live hand
是誰太不成熟　沒體諒彼此感受
Who is too immature and did not understand their feelings?
我不停尋找著理由　解釋分手
I kept looking for reasons to justify breaking up
心好空　像沒溫度的氣球
Good heart does not have the temperature like of the balloon
我的靈魂困在回憶中　動也不能動
My soul is stranded in the recollection, it cannot move
[Chorus 1]
愛上你　不需要理由　你到底懂不懂
Loving you does not need reason for you to understand
可是懷念　竟比失去　還要更難受
But remembering what we lost is more uncomfortable
愛讓我想起你的時候淚禁不住滑落
Love reminds me of the time when the tears can not help you fall
可惜　你永遠　都不會懂
Unfortunately, you never know
什麽都不要懂　只想繼續做夢
Do not know anything, I just want to continue to dream
害怕醒來以後　握不住你的手
Fear of waking up after not gripping your live hand
 如果同一秒鐘　你也想起了我
If the same second you think of me
心只要能微微顫抖 就已足夠
So long as the slightly trembling heart is sufficient
[Chorus 2]
愛上你　不需要理由　你到底懂不懂
Loving you does not need reason for you to understand
可是懷念　竟比失去　還要更難受
But remembering what we lost is more uncomfortable
愛讓我 想起你的時候　淚禁不住滑落
Love reminds me of the time when the tears can not help you fall
或許　我永遠　都看不透
Perhaps I could never understand completely forever
[Repeat Chorus 1]
放心　我還會　好好的過
Rest assured that I will be fine


this song reminds me of you again....
how can i forget the days when we are together???its so hard you know???ever since you left,you know how much i had suffered???waking up and crying,thinking of you but dont even dare to text you....
i really feel so useless....what can i do to hold you back???what can i do to make you come back to me???maybe people knows and said as nothing as its quite short period of time,but i really put in effort and cherish every single minute i had together with you...even your sleepin,i also enjoy lyin beside you....not to say i pervert but really,as long as you are by my side its enough...
even my friends ask me whether did you buy me birthday present,i said no but i know deeply inside that you're already the best present i had ever....and i really cherish you alot....and i also know that you're the one i want and the one i need...mayb you maybe not the best but i know you are definatly a good one....really...to me you are really a caring one and the adorable one..to disturb me and make me not to emo..but  now i gotta go back to the past when i emo again...if i ask you for patch again,will you agree???wwill you want me back???but i can say i reallly want you back into my life...reason being,I LOVE YOU!!like what the song says,theres no need a reason present to say i love you!!!!so I LOVE YOU !!I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU!!!

Friday, May 14, 2010

I've been wondering when can i get to receive your message???
when to hear your voice??
when to see you???
when to hold you tight in my arms??
when to kiss you on your lips again???
when to fall asleep in your arms while looking at you???
when to say Good Morning My Dear!! and NITEX NITEX!!!Baby...^^ ????

all i want is to look at you,having meals with you,singing songs,company you MJ ,play pool,and lying in your arms laughing and teasing each other,just like how we used to be and doing all the stuffs you like,going everywhere you go...

though is somehow quite hard for me to carry on as people around me commenting bout our relationship,but i can say one thing,no matter what happens or how hard it goes i will stick to you,always be there when you need me or even if you don't..I'm seriously not afraid to say that you are my priority,the one i always think of and concern about...be it other people saying I'm silly or stupid,i don't care because i want you to be happy even if i got myself badly hurt in the end....reason being I LOVE YOU..what i promised you i will never break it....so ya...i will still love you DEEP DEEP...and not to denied,the love for you is getting much more each second pass...you are the one who has keep me going on and holding on to this relationship....

i understand that you are really into your games but sometimes it really gets me panicking when you never answer my call and stuffs...sorry to say that...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

i want you!!!!
i miss you!!!!
i love you!!!!!
i really love you!!!!
i really want you!!!!
i really really MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOVI BABY!!!!!!I MISS YOU!!!!!!
I DONT WANT TO LEAVE YOU!!!!!
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!!!

this song reminds me of the the things that happen to be before....yup....memories and regrets....i just hate the feeling of regretting of doing something that i did in the past...but now..i just llove the way he is be it good or bad....i will just love him for all i can and will always be there for him when he needs me.....baby...i love you,i miss you and i want you....no one can ever take away your place from my heart untill the day of my life ends....i will not want to live with another regrets and will promise to love you even more than i can in the past...giving you every of my love care and concern...I LOVE YOU

Monday, May 3, 2010

Sunday, May 2, 2010

right now,i'm seriously confuse as i dont know what to do....i really missed him alot alot,its really gonna be more than a week...and i haven get to see him...not to lie i was always hoping to see him and being hug by him.....that feeling is seriously very had to be described as i can say it has got to do with the sense of security.....alot of stuffs had made me feel so discouraged but it is concern and love that gave me the strength to move on from the past...remembering that he once said he was the 'karma tanker' to feel all the disappointment and the heartbrokening feeling in me.....yup,that time is was so afraid to love someone again..so hard, and pain...i hate it totally...but its his never give up attitude that move me...i dont know why,just there's a voice telling me to go for him...i really strugged and yup...i'm wit him...
baby,thanks for everything that you had tolerate,the coldness,stupid attitude that i had given to you..promise to cherish you even more and love you even more to 'mi bu' all the stuff i did to upset you......
I LOVE YOU......<3

keke<3^^
hihi my friends,welcome to my BLOG...haha...hope i wont be like last time so sotong yar???yup...i had a blog feew years ago but has already gone till other place i guess???anyway this place will be a place for me to post my pics taken wit my love ones and also to say bout daily stuff???hmmm...really wonder what is blogging like...haha
signing off now....gotta go out ardy!!!
kiko,loves<3^^