Thursday, June 24, 2010

we ate.cycle.took pictures(although not alot).played with sea water.and all those...i also went to bench when i was sitting 2yrs ago....can still recall what happen on that day... while listening to the swashing of the waves,i feel so calm but with bit of sorrow...till8plus the few of us went home....
today when i was on the way to work,i saw a guy who looks very much like him...the side views and especially the smile on that face....its so familiar and the smile i missed a lot...but deeply i know its not him.....

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Saturday, June 19, 2010

now then i realise why i couldnt sleep the entire night feeling so down and Shitty....and i just realise that,its suppose to be the 3rd month and the day when i ask him to patch with me...but no answers in returned...reason being he doesnt know how to answer..but i cant blame him cus i dont think i'm a good girlfriend either...and its the last time i ever text him....
although whenever he onlines at MSN,i hope i could talk to him but i just cant help but to hold myself back from talking to him....i know i stilll do miss him alot and still thinks of him somehow or rather...even an action may remind me of him...all about him...
my friends told me to get over him but is that so easy to do so???i dont think so beacuse my feelings to him are true and i really put my heart to our relationship...what can i do???even they say its not worth,but i just cant help...i just love him.eeven if he doesnt even care about me,or even my heart has been already tear into millions of pieces...
can i ever ask that how is he??can i ask how is he like what geradine did???i cant....i just scare that i irritate him so i rather choose to keep it to myself...i know deeply that i still do love him alot...mayb what wei lun says is right..."you did so many things for the person,but turn out to be the person not knowing whats the point????".he may not know anything,but my point is as long as the person is happy,then even he want to be with other people then i'll let him go....As Long As He Is Happy With What He Has,Even Dumping Me Away...thats my principle...i rather i suffer than him...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Today at work got scolded for no reason that makes my mood shit like hell and really feel like Killing all the New comer!!!only know how to STONE!!!ASSHOLE and DUMB DUMBS...lame sia...any difference between me and them when i also started to work yesterday like the both of them and they are GUYS!!!!!????
after work,i went to attend LV5/1's reunion meeting at CWP at arnd 5pm??i get to see Huda,Shidah,Grayson,King Ngee,Zachery,Alvin,Gabriel,Ricky,Shi Qi,Norisah,Fazilah,Nisah and especially my beloved mummy in Unity Secondary School!!!Ms KOM!!!!!^^
but but but....i NEVER get to see my other two beloved darlings Yan Shan and Yvonne....so sad can...both of my wife never wait for me to reach then they went back already...>,<)
right after Ms Kom and Ricky has gone off for something,most of the other classmates went back or go for their appoinments,left Huda,Shidah,Me,King Ngee,Grayson and Zachery...then the six of us went to buy movie tickets for "KILLERS" the comedy movie(and seriously its very nice and humorous too^^)and makes me feeling like being once a Killer too...then we went to the arcade to have fun and seriously its screaming more then winning the game just because the 3 girls were too over excited,but overall everyone really enjoyed themselves..then after movie,huda and i decided to go for neoprint,so Ya.....we went to take Neoprints..'3,2,1,ka Chi!!' then we went back home...
guys,i really had a great time together with you!^^Hope to come out even more often wit you guys!! I miss you and i LOVE you my dear darlings!!
i know i may not have soo much time like i used to have for your guys,but in my heart..i will always miss you and never to forget that i have this group of darlings whom i get to know from Unity Sec LV1/3 or LV3/2,or even from primary school neither will i take the precious friendship for granted...i may get to know more friends outside,but you guys will always be the most AWESOME bunch of people who has a special place in my heart whom no one can replace...I love you!!!!<3
(a_a)!!!FOREVER THE BEST DARLINGS KAKIS,SISTERS AND BROTHERS!!!(n_n)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

now then i realise that for the next entire i will have no time to think about anything because there's really so many events coming up,like gatherings with formal class 5/1,meet ups with friends,and birthday celebarions...Woooo....really one busy week and its the start of the holidays only..beside i'll be working also...really no difference at all....not even one day can slack at home do nothing besides weekendss,but my weekends are also totally booked with church and other events!!!!seriously,how busy can i be lately?? i dont even havethe world of time to relax myself...dont care..lgonna find sometime to spend on myself,mayb going shopping wit friends or movie... i want massage!!!!!!My body really become very stiff ever since the NAPHA..keep hearin Cracks here and there...IRRITATING BONES!!!
Just now chat with Sy,and we talk about the past stuff and talk about ex,the only one ever i feel guilty towards...he really make a very good boyfriend,it just that i'm too too way stubborn and do things in my way...the way i think its far too naive than he was...until i got back what i've planted earlier..i really regretted that because of quarrels then i break up wit him...to get away from those shouting and crying....really SORRY that i've hurt you so deep that lead you to who u are now and i wont say anything if you hate me though i know you still do hold a grudge against me..because i know i deserve it..
tired already..gotta sleep early..tomorrow got work...
nitex nitex and sweet dreams!!<3

Saturday, June 12, 2010

can you tell me what am i typing or even thiinking...because i really dont know why am i still in this state...not to denied,i just cried..all in my mind is just you you and you!!!!i thought that i'm fine and have go on with my life..but sadly i have not do so....why am i so weak???WHY???WHY??TELL ME WHY???why the pain is still there???
why do i miss you so much like before??it is really killing me..what can i do to forget you???
i hate it when you said break and i never refuse to,when i really dont want to break with youi hate it when ,i hate it when i know i cant be your friend but i insist to be one!!i hate it when i see you online but dont have the guts to talk to you,i hate it when it reminds me of you not by my side anymore!!i hate it when i'm so weak!!
i just feel and hope that i'm at the beach or what ever place that can listen to the sound of the waves and look at the night view if the sea,it will be very relaxing..ya...i'm finally tired and i'm going to sleep now....nitex

Today is the last day of the term,then will be holidays already...but its alright because i'll be working immediately so there's not extra time for me to emo...because i'll be busy working and will be studying too...
Today i went to Furama Hotel to cut hair then is like quite short can....so many diff can??then afte that i went to AMK Hub,to wait for Pauline and Shi Yun,and also to get the friendship necklace of me and Shi Yun...^^haha...next time gonna have one wit pauline and Chewshih and other girls^^
then we went to pool toogether with Shu Yun's friends...but got one i know de Mellisa;)Lol...totally not on form then even aim the ball properly...So irritating can??
to my daarling Chewshih,ssorry that today i didnt go school as school ends early.....but ya really do miss you alot...hope you'll enjoy yout trip the next two days i will miss you de...and when free must come and go gai gai okie???<3others also k???
Then we took pictures and then we went to look for our friends...
wahahah^^

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Today is rather a tiring day as i dont have enough sleep although school staring at 2pm,but gotta go school at 12pm..ya..Zzzzz i sleep all e way in e train..from yew tee 2 Bishan n realise i got into e same train as shi yun....LOL
we then meet up with Woonyee,pauline,jovell n siyun for lunch at long john n as per normal "GD1 2pcs chicken,wit ice-tea n a cup of cheese"!!^^..then andy,wai kiat came..
6 of us(girls)then went to shop around after our lunch n bought earrings of e,diamond,club,hearts n Spade design wit shi yun...^^n that point of time its raining so....we took cab 2 school again...haha..
All along i wanted 2 sleep but there isnt a time where by i can sleep in school...all the way in class doing our case study 4 POA..
finally dismiss from sch n chewshih,fell down while walkin down e stairs..*poor gal,ystd fever..today fell down*..hope that she's fine....<3
And also on e way home after shi yun n fren alight,i began to listen to songs and first song is WO AI DE REN..then...whahah...EMO =.=!!
lame..i know...then i change song if not sure will be drawing circles everywhere....was also txtin wit jo n kim...
Cannot Tahan ardy...gona sleep soon if not will not be able to wake up again!!!i want full attendance this week...!!!
right now i'm missing someone and its just so ramdom that i will sudddenly tought of that person...but if course that person has a special place in my heart...and is a very special one cus no one can ever replace...
end of term must swee swee END!!
nite nite and sweet dreams...<3

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Today is such a tiring day...because last night never get to rest well....feeling so tired wit muscleaches all over my body just for that one day of NAPHA!!!!!AHHHH....so irritating can...><
In Mr Zaki's class,we kinda joke and said"bluu bluu" (sound sotong made) ya and indeed i feel like a sotong,because everyone is figuring out on how to do the source doocuments and stuffs....and indeed is quite confusing and on corrections is suppose to be made on the paper itself for the hmwk he gave to us for pair work...
its is kinda a 'joke day' when i feel the weather is there to sleep....and there's jokes here and there that made us laugh till our stomache muscle cramp....seriously its painful!!!!hope can dont laugh but just cant help it....so many jokes....in class to outside school and till home....
yup...on the way back i had a chat on phone together wit evon,to catch up wit her as for a very long time i never get to meet her up,so....meeting her during the holidays to go have kunch and stuff....
friday mayb going club,but not sure...hha...18 ardy...can go club ardy....depends on the others then decide whether to go or not and i also never go before.but what i know is they are planning to go to the one inside Siloso Beach and says that there's a beach party over there....mayb mayb not....go there see see lor....see what a club is like???
time to sleep if not cant wake up jiu mati le.....
irritating time table.....>< nite nite and sweet dreams!!!!^^

Monday, June 7, 2010

today went 4 NAPHA test....seriously...its a crazy one....a super duper one...Stupid,cramp all e 5 station n 2.4 run together.seem 2 b like want my life than making me graduate instead..4 dont know how long i never train n do exercise n yet i can still get A for sit up n incline pull up..think B for sit n reach,shuttle run n 2.4km run, n 1 bloody cm 2 pass!!!!!!!SHIT la.....From all of e stations,i hate broadjump e most cus last year i failed it....><
But ya....at e point of time i really have no courage 2 jump as i really feel very scare of failing again like what i had during sec 5,thanks 2 e guys,they clapped 4 me n somehow gave me e encouragement 2 take e second jump 2 try once more....n i got 1cm 2 pass...lol...got improvement!!!n though i dont know they did 4 fun or what but ya thanks guys!!
i cant denied that this is like my character,i'm afraid of failing n also 2 try once more..because of e past experiences,i will tend 2 stay even more away from e thing i fear of...But e clap from them made me understand that no matter what i gotta stay strong n continue my life,because they (friends)will always be there 2 give you encouragements,pulling you out of that you are stuck with and carry on the journey together..just keep on trying n not afraid 2 fail...just like how i take the second jump n although i fail,but i still managed 2 get closer 2 e passing markings...
so tired...gotta go sleep now...nitex nitex.....if not tomorrow cant wake up again....

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Today is a happy day,will with love in the atmosphere...<3 from the time i step into the hall,together wit hazel jie jie,everywhere looks so beautiful,the surroundings seems  to be so peaceful fill with a little sweetness of the wedding....
and especially the bride,hazel jie jie...she is so beautiful....and its true that what people says,the bride will be the most beautiful woman in the entire world and indeed its true...can really describe her as georgous...
in between the ceremony,the pastor actually read out some wishing and he also said,the wife is meant to be loved and being cherished by the husband,and ben gor gor *nod his head*.then continues,the husband is meant to be supported in whatever he does,and hazel jie jie*nods her head *too..and everyone laugh...he also says A REAL LOVE iss when two partner's decided to live together forever,by giving in and supporting eachother,and understanding on the other hand.A REAL MARRIAGE is when after 25yrs OF MARRIAGE,the couple still feel the love bond within themselves and also feel that the feeling is even much more stronger then the time they first met eachother as at first the couple are also individuals who do not know eachother.....
throughout the whole ceremony,i can feel the beautiful bond between them and the feeling is not able to be describe in words....everything is just so beautiful....
Jie also got me an Yellow gown and gotta change immediately...really love the gown,though is simple but i feel that it suits me...and i'm getting so excited that i wear opposite...LOL....
CONGRATS GOR AND JIE<3
may you live a HAPPILY EVER AFTER LIFE WITH LOVE^^

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Finally!!!!today the LAST day of Paper!!!!woohoo!!but Sian...cant take a break to rest....really sian...

TMR: Wedding @TAMP.SAFARA..Out with Strawberry to Vivo,then out With Clique...
Sunday:Hlp auntie take video on ceremony,Steamboat With Pauline and clique with the guys for her 18th Birthday...<3
Monday:Naphfa Test and Five Stations,POA Project pt 2,BZE unit 4 on Biz LAWS!!!!!
Tuesday:Got smth on but forget already...
wednesday:math tuition @7pm
Thursday:cut hair Wit YS@ furama after school...
Friday:Clique outing..

i Dont know what to say,cus veri tired,feeling so stressed up at the same time and have no idea on what i cant to type also....so lame lo....LOL
go listen song and coax myself to sleep if not cant wake up at 8am to bath and prepare for Hazel Zeh Zeh's de wedding.....Go sleep le....hope i can Sleep and ya....i can sleep properly...congrats JIE JIE!!!regene love you oh
nitex nitex and sweet dreams...<3

Friday, June 4, 2010

lol...so early wake up just to blog????LMAO...no la...just that i cant sleep again.....i'm seriously very very very tired adn really hopes that i can fall asleep any time...but there isnt seem to have any chances of doing that....
all along i'm chatting with Angel on the phone and she keep convincing me that Love is still as beautiful as before...but to me...its no longer appears in that manner...all i could think of is the one sided love of me,giving in and giving in....no matter how hard,or hurt am i,still i give in to him...cus i think thats a way to love him..."love his good and also his everything including his bad points"thats me....
and  yup...there mayb good guys out there,but.......but but,now i can only see them as nothing but friends.....i know that i will wish to have one by my side,still i choose to be single...why you may ask...cus guys can say I LOVE YOU to you,but will they react the same way???some others,HEY GIRL,I THINK WE DONT BELONG TOGETHER,LETS BREAK.....what hell rubbish is that???i really couldnt understand their mind,people says that guy can only do things at a time while girls can multi-task,a girl can be so faithful to her boyfriend,but why cant the guy doin the same thing since the girl is able to take her chance to express her love to him..??
WHATEVER......all those lame stuffs,are Seriously out of my mind...now...to me,LOVE is FAKE,and LAST LONG is rubbish,cus this doesnt even exist.....
tonight gonna go happy again.....waHAHAH...have fun till the utmost level!!!!!woohoo....

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

this song totally describe my feelings...i not sure whether its a coincidence or what,because it is when i'm miss you and my fren let me listen to this song..i just have a feeling of sadness within myself...and yup...emo again in the train....
just lik that the song says....why do you wait to leave me??why did you hide???are you afraid of me??have i did something wrong...and i will wait for you even if it takes the rest of my life and no matter what i have to do..i'll wait and wait and wait...cus i know i need you...i really do....
while blasting my MP3,i feel so tired....really tired that i want to sleep and sometimes hope that i will not even make up for the next moment....yup...and not for a moment I've reach my destination....
everyone  has their own destination and knows how to reach there,but me??am i hiding at one corner or just lost in the big crowd again...i dont know what to do and where to go...all i know is to pretend...pretend that i'm fine and not to let anyone knows that i'm sad...always happy so that they will not worry about me and feel that i'm weak inside...
and like what wei lun said earlier today..its so hard to believe another person after getting hurt by the one you love and cherish so much that you are even willing to give up yourself for the sake of that person....but only believe in himself,but me,not even myself...
i seriously wondering why will everytime will be me getting dump by others??is it that i'm too stupid or idiot that people are playing my feeling and i never realise at all...or just that i'm not even good enough for them and not worth for them to cherish and love???i think so....i dont see myself as someone worthy too...
i'm tired already..going sleep now...nitez nitez...hope i can have a good rest after a long day....

♥ Her For She Is The Only One
6/02/2010 12:41:00 AM