Thursday, September 30, 2010

well....supposely to have fun now but i'm here blogging...lol...although there are times that i'll stop to think about something that makes me sad,but but but all the fun and my love ones are there to bring my life back and to throw every bad stuff behind of my head!!!this few days been drinking,having good food,enjoying myself..making myself to forget every wild imaginations and all the negative thinkings....

Friday, September 24, 2010

woooo...awesome regene total K3 times in 2 entire days and also havin alcohol in my stomach for 48 hours.... ...yup...volka sprite,then beer then volka again and volka....LOL....well  thats nth la...just having fun with friends...hhaha^^

today i went to Pomo to look for Wy Gor to play pool as he is havin breaktime...well its really fun playing pool together with him and Gn too^^although i'm really rusty at pool but guess can train back my skills last time...at least its alot better than now...

then when gor went back for his class,Gn and me went to mac,and met up another fren,Ran..and they plan to go AMK sing K*Hello???!!!this is the 3rd time i go K in the two entire days le leh,(u_u)*and we went till 8pm..then had dinner wit them,then e 3 of us kinda play poison Fries game haha..

.then after that we went to some where near jubidee and ran bought the dragonfly i can say that can light up and night and you can shoot it up into the night sky and i have one with me too..hahaif i'm not wring he spent bucks on that cus at first the two of then went to plat dragonfly shooting war and began to shoot at eachother...ypu i join in too and the 3 spoiled,so ya got another 3....mine shoot up so nicely and landed on the tip of lampost,another one shot to the 2nd level of multi-storey car park..left one and Ran gave it to me haha^^and two of them was injured...poorthing....

had a really good day today wit you guys^^hahah..nitenite^^

Thursday, September 23, 2010

recently,so many thing in my life that happen that cause me to become who i am not suppose to be,Drinking,Doing stupid stuffs...oh well whatever....its not worth though...i also came across wit so many people,lik my ex brother?Ist crush during work??childhood frens??and even more...Some just come and go but some choose to stay with you and always there when you need them to be...

Last night i didnt go home until this morning and dad is really angry wit me but unlike last time....i told him the reason and burst into tears in his arms...Deep down he knows how fragile i am,especially at friendship and relationship and still the same words....:Silly girl,its the ones who choose to leave you or hurts you the stupid ones,because till the end they will know that they have lost a very good girlfriend or a loyal friend....mayb or not i wouldnt know but i know i have tried my best to make the people around me happy..

i also dont really feel good because dwayne is kinda up set over something,well i really dont know whats happening but one thing is i just hope that i can see him the way he is lik before...the smile that can make me smile even if i am crying and angry with him....but ya i cook the pasta for him and gary like i promise previously,i really dont know will he like it...but ya gary love it...hahah..actually is not that soon to cook that but my mind told me.....regene,do something to cheer him up???then ya pasta come into my mind..hehe
no matter what i just hope that he is fine and need a shoulder????just one call away oh^^

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

right now i wanna to say this.....>

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

OMG...sleep and sleep and drink milk and eat then sleep....seldom reply messages and answer calls...totally like MIA unless i'm either on Msn or FB...but ya not too bad at least without going to the doctor i can somehow recover haha..!!!!
then tmr will be going out to have fun together with my primary school mates...but how sia????i really wonder how many people is coming over leh...LOL....is Chuansin and edwin all coming along also????some mayb some never reply...wth...irritating lo..but seriously lasy year's celebration its really fun,having hannah on our hands,playing stupid games,some emoing,some Stressing over stuffs..But ya overall,everyone managed to throw behind all the negative feelings and have fun together..Seriously i want to put hannah on my hand again...its so nice can..hehe
Oh ya..Gary's back today from Puket(wrong spelling???)hmmm..whatever...haha...as long as it can still be pronounced as the orginal word...haha...yup told him that night before he leave that i already made up my mind and never to hold on to 'him' anymore and never gonna turn back...if i'm not wrong i remember that he told me this...
Gary:"Good!!!I'll give you until i come back from overseas and I dont want to hear you saying a single thing about him or crying anymore alright??"
Gene:"No Worries!!!!Its a deal man!!!* thinking:its really a must man!
yup and i did!!^^haha

Monday, September 20, 2010

Ystd is Jermaine's Jie jie's baptism and Jun Xiong gor's Promotion..what a happening day......The services At CHC is really Good and Exciting....
really recently have been up to alot of events and more events to come up!!!!

Wed:Went to Kbox wit ben and Jer,Winson and Yuzhen(late),
thus:Interview and medicure session wit Lao Po (Ys)
Fri:Went Bugis And have lunck Wit Gor Gor(Wy),CGM at jeremy's hse..
Sat:Church and dinner wit cell group at Safara Jurong
Sun:Sick;Fever!!!!>

Up Coming events:
Tmr:Going SP wit jess(mayb)
22 Sep:Going Back to LPS to meet Childhood friends
24 Sep:making mooncakes @ jeremy's hse wit W362
25 Sep:Church and felloowship
26Sep:Da Lao Po's18th Birthday
28 Sep:Siyun's 18 bdae's celebration
29 Sep:Check up at Novena,2.40pm
30 sep:Cat's 18th birthday
1Oct:CGM
2Oct:Church and Club Session!!!!
3Oct:LV 5/1 Outing @ marina Barrage

Not confrimed dates:
Study With Sy
East Coast Wit Lao Po
Meet Up With Yvonne Lao Po

whao whao...sooo many thing that i have to go and mayb starting worki ng soon....jia you wor regene!!^^

Saturday, September 18, 2010

yup yup..ystd never blog cus i'm so so so tired till fall asleep but i guess after blog i'll go to sleep after that.....but one thing i seriously want to post is: i decided to give up on him and not to think about him anymore!!!reason being the stuffs that Gary,Dwayne,Ben,Jess,Jer and other friends told me are all same,Especially Gary and Ben,what for i waste my time on someone who dont even care or giive a damn about me???its really super unfair to me can????

No one can really understand how i feel other than Dwayne and Gary...Always there to hear me saying this and that about you,almost keep repeating the same thing to them and they never even ask me to stop saying....wiping away my tears when they see me cry...making me smile with their funny actions....company me when they are free right from the very start....and alot more they have done for me....the both of them are just like pillars that keep holding on to me....never let me fall...really feel veri glad and lucky that i got to know them...ILY<3

well regarding this i seriously not gonna turn back because its really not worth it and i know i broken my promise but is it a promise????i dont think so....mayb you will say things bad and awful about me but hey guess what???No matter what regene never regret of what she decided to do and she will never shed a tear because of you....and this will be the last post of me saying all about you i guess...

well mayb or not,i wish that you will soon find your true happiness and See you soon i guess my friend....^^Thank you for giving me those happy moments and also letting me to know the two gentlemens ..

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I kinda think through alot last night,i've been always struggling about that matter...but what pauline say its true also....maybe he loves me but not as much as his ex girlfriend but why will he treat me in this way???well,i guess it doesnt really matter already...at first was still dwelling and keep thinking about this matter..and wondering if he is alright...if i say i never think of him..its totally bullshit...because randomly i will still though of him and thinknig of hi well being.....

after going out together with ben,jermaine,yuzhen and winson....Ben walk me home from lot1 till my house....along the way i kinda discribe what's happening and this is part of our conversation...

Ben:'what you like about him?Is it because of affection or other reason??"
Gene:*thinking*..."i dont know,i just feel that i want to protect him."
Ben:"Protect him?!?!"*Gives a funny reaction*
Gene:yup..."as in i dont want him to get hurt again"
Ben:"How long do you know him??"
Gene:"not very long lo..."
Ben:"if its like that then do you think you will last with him????I dont think you know him more then you know his another 2 friends..."
Gene:"......"*Thinking:True la...i guess i know Dwayne and Gary much  more better than i know him...*

this question from him is still floating in my mind...."what you like about him"...i seriously i dont know what i even like about him...,or like what he said affection???really gotta find out the answer soon...cus if not it will be always floating on my mind and its veri irritating  and annoying too....well dont care now.....i need sleep...later 9 gotta wake up and go for interview already..nite nite!!^^

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What a day lo...hehe....outing to East Coast!!!!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Finally finish one Major paper....hahah...so happy....
after school went to dwayne's house together with Gary,yup...he watch the expandibles and thats the movie that let dwayne post the thing on FB...LOL....yup....was too tired then ,i wanted to sleep but dwayne didnt want to let me sleep...so he disturb me....ya,cant sleep...but till the end i manage to sleep...and dreamt of me falling(and indeed i nearly fall)if i dont sleep just now cfm i cannot tahan till now.....and its like i'm really tired now...

while gary was playing Mass Effect,i fell asleep and then ya dreamt of mme falling aand then got disturb my dwayne,keep tickling me...disturb sia....then i cant sleep already as the sleeping mood is gone...but is lik 2 children playing...lol...hitting eachother,back and fore....although its painful as both of us got scratch by eachoher wile playing but its fun man....haha somehow i gone back to my childhood memories....

Now i'll gonna stop here cus ggin for prata supper!!^^Yeah!!!^^yumyum!!^^<3

Monday, September 13, 2010

funny feeling i had...sometimes just feel so scare to lose you but i really dont know why....somwtimes without you i just feel so wierd....am i relyin on you too much?????i really dont know...why willi even talk about you??why will i even worry so much...mayb joe is right....but funny leh...or i think too much????

Aiyo so messy sia....what to do????I also Dont know....but one thing i know...hahah...IS TO SLEEP!!!^^
know why????i'm lyin on my bed....So shiok.....Hugging my stitch...hehe<3 love him...always my favourite softtoy...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

guess what????Aisyah and Joe say that i said something and cried but how come i dont know...???LOL..at least,i never do anything stupid....but stil alright....but how do i concentrate on my everything now?????like a Zombie only...heart feel so sour and really dont know what to do.....tried to do notes during the time when i wake up but just cant do anything right at all...Fk it Fk all my idiotic moods.....

But still i get to attend church service,but ya i somehow fall asleep during the service....i'm seriously bloody no mood for anything and after church txt ppl to come out but doesnt seem anyone can company me....i'm all by myself and no one there for me when i want to cry....whats more i can do????just feel veri veri lonely..so what to do????mayb find people to go out again i guess...i just cant sleep at all..Fk la...

Seriously who cares man....i dont give a fkin care bout myself anymore...anything la...i just wish that i could sleep now and forget everything....all my mind is exam and all the shits in my mind....forget it...going out again....byebye..

Went out to chill wit kenny,aisyah,ray and ray's galfren at East Coast,its been such a long time eversince i met up wit this bunch of psters....everytime...eh dah...i not free larh,gotta company my gal/boyfren la..Got Gf /Bf throw fren away..got problem say eh dah...come out chill and emo wit you guys..Assholes....but really have fun chatting together with them...always these few ppl to turn up without joe...duno what happen to him oso..MIA kia..say want come but never in the end..lol.lier...><

all sitting at the cliff drinkin beer...heng not tiger....if not sure GG..cus i dont lik..but Heni. and Carls.stil too not bad...can manage to drink 3/4 of the bottle..Suan eachother and say things to disturb..hah..this can never change..still mashimaro and lychee...its just get so fun for us to talk about the stupid stuff we have done when we are young...<3^^

while drinking,Ken is attached eversince jan with jorine told me he miss mindy alot and want her back,doesnt know what to do..that really freak me out..but i told  him..make up your mind fast and go for what you really long in your heart and never regret of giving up,not until the one really love you leave then you want her back..and...Also make me emo..cus..this is what happen to me...seriously for what find a galfren wheen you cant even forget the ex,dont you really selfish ass and hurt them when they truely wants to treats you well...Shit you la...

then now...joe called..and me at ken's hse with,aisyah going to meet joe now...haha...idiot ding dong..see how i ding dong you...and guess what???he brought alcohol also...for apology of not joining us earlier as he was in the Lalaland dreaming....wonder what is that.???Martel,Volka or some other i dont know de drink??Just nice i totally got mood for drinking now...

Friday, September 10, 2010

Wahahah....Today,Heng got Mr Tan's help if not i also dont know what to do already for my BZE case study...i know i have screwed it up....Only way its to get good grades for the Major paper coming next week...
Today's OFA paper is much more easy then previous one...I finally can do the 'if function' bit....hahah....only pivort i still anyhow here and there.....but at least i dont have to stress till bang the table...AND too bad this time can only get 50% even if i got high marks for this retest...

After school went to meet up with Gary at Bishan CC but Dwayne cant join us cus his cousin was at his house....so...ya...the 2 of us went to have our lunch,and walk around J8..We Went to all the CDs shop to look for war movies as gary say he wants to watch them during the holidays,while i get mesmerise with the song played with that shop..went to try out the D24 durian mooncakes...wooooo...!!!really Really nice....i guess i mayb gonna save up to buy one back home and enjoy during MoonCake Festival.....^^Then,outside coffeebean i saw Bert,we chatted awhile and 6 we went off cus Gary has Mass to attend at his church....

Tmr.....Eh....nope... is later i gonna get prepare to go to my baby cousin house.....but...how am i suppose to study...should i go later or not???Sat also have service at330pm..Miss my xiao bao beii so much....^^Gonna ask him to give me hug hug later....!!!haha....i really hope that i will be able to get a result with flying colours this Sem. and Most IMPT let me have the world of time to finish my revision before the examinations....

Today really have to thank God for letting the paper to be more easier to understand and also state more clearly in all the statements...and to let me finish most part off my retest...<3
Thank Gary for company me once again and really i had a good time having fun and chatting as well!!!(n_n)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Does All the relationship to me always turns into this end???I really wonder????why its always the same thing that i got......e Guy Whom i like or my Bf always got affect by the ex and got tempted to go back or somehow still misses their ex????

Was talking to Gary today about this issue....i really dont know is i suay or what....its always like this......veri irritating can????But one thing like wha the say...He Happy Jiu HAo....yup....As long as he is leading a good life then i'm happy for him but..but..but....seriously its very unfair can....???I always put all y heart into the relationship,but guess what i got back????nothing but hurt and miseries.....What's e point for me doing till so good for them when they dont even appreciate what i've done for them....

i'm seriously tired about all these...sometimes want to act normal also cant...i admit when i was wit joel i'm totally a bad girlfriend...but really think back....who wil be able to take the bad attitude of mine that time???Only he can take it,all my ahlian pattern and always think that i'm right.....totally nonsense can???rubbish...really can just hide my face in the toilet bowl....But of course...as time pass then realise how idiot i was then and also learnt to love people properly....LOL

I just hope that my next relayionship tto come will not have all these stuff..if not i'll really have no idea if what i should do next because my heart is gonna be like deforestation....being cut down bit by bit...till nothing left and will become a feelinless person????
But over here i want toTHANK 2 PERSON........
Thanks Gary to be there and never reject me  when i need his help..or need someone to be there for me...always to give me a clear mind of what i should take the next step...<3

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

i wonder y???y he called just now????i just dont understand y it turns out to this way i just dont understand.... why like that.....when he need me then talk to me????why????why???there's alot of people out there for him to go to what.....i dont want to go back to the past when i'm e one suffering and dwelling over you....its really enough for me....
its not i dont want to help you but its no more that i will cus it only gets me more annoying and pissed at myself.....its really enough.....how many years of friends??almost a decade????why must you make things till this end for all of us????Do you know the one that i always think of when i am down is you guys???you guys are the ones keep me going and now????Who i can rely on????who can i turn against to????
Can you guys just tell me what you want from me?????I said before like the past....anything need anyone all will be there confirm......all and will be there but now?????where's e clique have gone to?????all disappear to?????I hate now i hate now!!!!!!!

I just feel like crying now....why things will happen till this way...i seriously dont know what i can do anymore....i just feel so stressed up and devasted....

I cant even do a single thing right...what's wrong with me???First time i feeling that i cant even breathe proplerly....its really terrible....i want to cry but just cant seem to cry out....How am i suppose to go on like this???How am i gonna Stay on in this way???will someone there to help me up and walk through all these???Its easy to say that i'm fine....but how can it be easy to do so???will someone lend me a shoulder to lean on when i need to cry out????

But what ever it  can you just give me someone whom i ccan rely myself on???its really tiring to go on this way.....

Monday, September 6, 2010

Dont you ever feel that Love is like a maze???often we get lost,falls into traps or even walk to a dead end and thought its a short cut to the one who is really for us????Its like so hard for us to get out to the way out where our love ones is but i felt so you know??Some just continue to dwell at the same place while others continue to try their luck through out the entire maze...Or some Just prefer to go back to the start and never walk those route again....

Some people you thought is the one,but it turns out to be a person wearing a mask instead infront of you.....
Some people are so close to you and really trust but can never have chemistry to happen in between.....
Some people you feel is mend to be together,but just turn out to be good friend instead....
But One out there you feel like nothing but actually there is something going on that make the two becoming soulmates....<3<3

Sometimes you wanted to protect someone so much until you yourself falls deeply into the trap and its hard to climb out....Sometimes someone wanted to protect you from the harm you just push the person away.....

But i guess this time....everything will be different because,**Secret** and i'll never let myself get hurt again .....***Want to konw the SEcret?? ask me la>>>***

Saturday, September 4, 2010

today 4 am then sleep,sooo tired can...cant even wake up for class today...hais....even i have so many people spamming my phone and still i sleep like a dead log....LOL at first still say to dwayne that he better wake up to go school and till the end its me who cant even wake up and also make it to school......

I met up together with Gary and Dwayne to Cityhall for movie,we watched Haunted Changi that somehow scare the hell out of us but i know its a movie only and GOD WILL ALWAYS BE BY MY SIDE PROTECTING ME!!^^Then we send Dwayne off to his workplace and we Went for another movie....Cats And Dogs!!!funny movie...haha....really shoik leh cus Gary treat me to both movies....So nice of him...Dwayne also la!!^^POPCPRNS AND DRINKS....hehe...then We Went for our dinner at Marina Square and not more then ten minutes,Dwayne called and two of us gobbled our food and Choing to Suntec and deliver his dinner to him...and then we went off again to the shopping malls to relax ourselves and kill time while waiting for Dwayne to be dismiss from his work...

While walking,here and there at cityhall to marina, i realise many things play thorugh my mind and i really wonder,lik what jeffrey ask me just now...if he ask you go out will you go??mayb??mayb not...Mayb is because i feel lik seeing him but Mayb not is because i dont want him to appear infront me...its so confusing....why i will feel this way...???i really wonder somehow..saying i love you it seem lik not saying i hate you it seem not too....lol...Confuse la....

another thing is i can still recall all the things that i always wanted to go together wit my bf but never seem to happen till now...haha...i still can remember and also can recall all the past memories,be it is with friends or Bf...its always seem to be so sweet and also memorable...really wish to have them fulfill someday in my life???mayb....mayb not...who know haha.....i should go charge my body battery......gonna run out soon....Nite nite!!^^<3

Friday, September 3, 2010

i really cant understand it anymore.....what's more you gonna do to make me hang over there...and not going anywhere else????Suddenly yes suddenly no.....Am i a Pizza????you said you will cherish but did you???prove to me???where is it???i cant even see a single thing but only you saying its always a random thing when you call me,is it real i wouldnt know....cus its you who choose to do this....i know that you are confuse,then what bout me???If you really love her then go back and look for her..Simple as that...

whats more for me to fight and hold on for its a meaninless wait...???if you are not then tell me...you know how much courage i take up to hold on this...when people say its totally not worth for me to do so????..it is never hard for me to forget,but it just keep me thinking of you night and day...
until ystd,someone said you are toying me...what's more for me to stay???getting hurt and cry for you????
I'm totally devestated but numb too....all the hurt just make me feel bad but never till shedding tears....

why ask so much when you dont give a damn bout me???asking am i together with gary and Dwayne and Marcus,or going to PH???? Or am i going to meet them again...??or even Going School together with Dwayne???what stupid thing are you thinking about.....but i'll never assume that it is a concern from you....cus it'll never be one though.....